エピソード15 毎年恒例の安全衛生監査の時期がやってきました。これはいくつかの点で驚きです。まず、これまで年次安全監査を実施したことがないということ、そして、それが今だということです。
「あの床は開いています。誰かが落ちてしまうかもしれませんよ」と人事部の安全衛生担当者が指摘した。
「そうですが、その部屋に入れたのは私たち二人だけで、私たちはただそこで仕事をしていただけです」とPFYは嘘をついた。タイルは数週間前から貼られていたのだ。
「そして、あのはしごの周りにはコーンがありません。」
「また、密室で、2人で作業中です。」
「でも、もし暗かったらどうするの？穴に落ちたり、はしごが落ちてきたりするかもしれないし、その両方かもしれない！」
「非常照明はありますが、もう一度言いますが、他の人は部屋に出入りできません。」
「でも、もし非常灯が消えたらどうするの？誰かが事故に遭って――たとえあなた方の一人でも――助けが必要になったらどうするの？」
「壁のインターホンのボタンを押します。」
「暗闇の中でインターホンのボタンに向かって歩いているときに穴に落ちてしまったらどうしますか？」
「つまり…照明が消え、予備の照明も消え、梯子がどこにあるのか、床の穴がどこにあるのかも忘れてしまう。携帯電話を持っていることも忘れてしまう。そして…20年近く働いてきた部屋から出るためのドアも見つけられない、という状況になるのでしょうか？」
「それは起こり得る！」とH&Sの担当者は言う。
「少しの間、外にいる同僚と相談してもよろしいでしょうか？」PFY はバッジを付けて部屋から出ながら尋ねます。
...
「これがどんな音か分かりますか？」PFYは尋ねます
「本当に面倒な人？」と私は答えます。
「いいえ、それはまさに…のように聞こえます。」
WELCOME TO THE SERVER ROOM, HOME OF SYSTEMS ADMINISTRATORS!
Server Room
You are in a busy server room, surrounded by humming server racks of all kinds. Close by, you can see an open hole in the server room floor where a floor tile has been removed. To your west is a ladder.
To the south is an exit door that you have no access to open, and which is securely locked.
The lights have gone out.
The emergency lights flicker briefly, then also go out.
If you continue, you may fall into a hole in the floor.
> CRAWL N
Server Room
You are in a server room in complete darkness. Beside you, you can feel an extremely cold, and completely unlit server rack. From inside the rack you think you can hear the sound of many bottles of lager vibrating.
If you continue, you may fall into a hole in the floor.
> CRAWL N
Server Room
You are in a server room in complete darkness.
EXAMINE KEYS
You take your keys from your pocket and attempt to feel them in the almost total darkness. You feel your house key, your office key, 4 keys that open nothing – but which you keep to signify the importance of your Health and Safety role. Also on your keys is a small torch and a small penknife whose only purpose is to chew the bottom out of your trouser pocket.
LIGHT TORCH
The torch, a gift at a Health and Safety tradeshow many years ago, glows faintly, partially illuminating the immediate area.
> N
Server Room
There is a wall there.
> E
Server Room
You are in a server room in almost complete darkness.
> E
Server Room
You are in a server room in almost complete darkness. Immediately to your east you can feel a bench. Under the lip of the bench you can feel a tiny button.
PRESS BUTTON
A wall panel, hitherto seemingly solid, slides back.
- BOFH：あなたはロボットに置き換えられるか、ビッグデイブの二酸化炭素排出量を下回るか
- BOFH：嘘、とんでもない嘘、そして基準
- BOFH：5000ドル払えばAIから守ってあげる
- BOFH：皆さん、朗報です。私たちはソーセージ事業を営んでいます。
> E
Comms Room
You are in a dimly lit comms room. There are cables all around you, lining floors and walls, protruding from racks and ceiling spaces. Many cables appear to date back to the days of thinwire ethernet and serial lines.
Behind you a panel quietly slides shut.
> E
Comms Room
You are in a dimly lit comms room. There are cables all around you.
> E
Comms Room
You are in a dimly lit comms room. There are cables all around you.
> W
Comms Room
You are in a dimly lit comms room. There are cables all around you.
> S
Comms Room
> E
Comms Room
> CUT CABLES WITH PENKNIFE
After a struggle you manage to cut a single cable, and nothing happens.
> CUT CABLE WITH PENKNIFE
You cut a cable, nothing happens. Perhaps all these cables are abandoned.
Your torch flickers ominously.
> E
Comms Room
> W
Comms Room
> W
Server Room
Your torch flickers briefly, then goes out.
You are in a server room in complete darkness.
If you continue, you may fall into a hole in the floor.
> W
Server Room
In the darkness you cannot see where you are going and fall into a hole, fracturing your tibia.
> N
Server Room
You manage to painfully drag yourself from the hole across some floor tiles.
In front of you, you can see a dimly backlit intercom button.
You accidentally nudge a ladder, which falls across your left hand, breaking all the fingers on that hand.
> PRESS INTERCOM
Pressed. A disembodied voice answers.
> SAY HELP
The server room lights go on and a figure enters.
In their rush to help you they accidentally step on your right hand. Twice. Breaking three of your fingers.
You have 1 finger and 2 thumbs left; do you wish to continue?
> NP
Sorry, I don't understand that.
> QUIT
You have scored 0 points out of a total possible points of 0. An ambulance has been called.
- BOFH: すべて
- BOFHアーカイブ95-99の完全版
